Today I went hiking in nearby Raccoon State Park. Leaves were just falling from orange and yellow trees, and the sun was out, warming the paths, but staying cool in the shade. The perfect day to go outside.
I don’t always hike alone. In fact I am not a fan of hiking alone, sometimes constantly looking over my shoulder for strangers or large animals. But somehow I work through it. I just have to stop thinking, which is difficult for me. I am always in my head, always questioning myself, my life, my choices.
This is not my first time being jobless, and feeling disconnected and purposeless. It’s the third. But just like all those times before I gravitate outdoors to bask in the sunlight, hear the rustle of leaves and explore the state. It seems when I am the most lost, I turn to hiking. Although I’d classify more of what I do, as walking, but nonetheless, I find myself on paths through wooded areas, across streams and on boulders. It’s though I’m trying to find myself by walking in the woods. Or maybe, it’s not that complex, and it’s simply that I need to experience nature–get out of the house, away from the TV, get some fresh air and feel a part of the world.
Today my thoughts drifted to the possibility of library jobs and ideas that I’m not confident enough to pursue. Except this one–the hiking blog. I am going to pursue this. This is a good idea.